/* BUILDING THE BLOG */
14 February 2005
Tough Guys go to Italy
Not so monthly update #4
Short Update
Tough Enough
Special DVD extended edition!
Sunday the 30th of January 2005 at a farm near Birmingham:
Air temperate: 10ºC or so.
Water temperature: So very very cold.
Number of idiots competing in the Toughguy Challenge: 4500
Idiot #3148: Daryl Holland
11:15... and there goes the starting gun. Daryl seems to be lagging somewhat, but that's understandable given that the starting area only holds about 200 people, and he's stuck in a queue of at least 2000 people.
11:25... it looks like Daryl has finally got to the starting line, and is sliding down the first hill on his bum. Let's follow him and see how he goes.
12:00... well, they've been running for a while now, and Daryl has made up quite a few places. He's passed the Mongul Warriors, the guy in the suit with the briefcase and the guy carrying the inflatable banana. Let's see how he gets over the first major obstacle, The Slalom, a snaking course up and down a very steep hill. No problems for Daryl, this is what he's trained for. Living on the steepest hill in Bristol must be an advantage there.
12:30... we've noticed Daryl's running has slowed a bit. Perhaps that dodgy knee is affecting him. There is still a long way to go... let's hope he can keep it up.
12;45... Daryl has now started the Ghurka Grand National, a series of jumps and water holes. Then it's onto the ropes course. Oh, and let's not forget the electric fencing and fire hazards along the way.
13:15... It looks like Daryl has his second wind. He got through that section of the course quite easily. He's a bit scratched up from the tunnels, but it looks like he might even be enjoying himself. I guess the queue at each obstacle has helped him get some energy back. Let's see how he goes in the underwater tunnels. It looks really cold in that water. He's ducked under the first log... ooh, he looks a bit disoriented. Most people are going over the logs, but Daryl is doing it the official tough guy way... could turn out to be a mistake. He's made it through, but he's breathing very heavily... grabbing his head... shaking his limbs... I think Daryl has one of those full body ice-cream headaches we've heard about. But he's continuing on, although a lot slower now. The officials have given him a shower cap to wear. Sure... it's attractive, but I don't know how well it's goingto stave off hypothermia.
13:30...He's done a few more obstacles, but now he has to walk the plank. There he goes, and he's in. He's lost his shower cap. Hopefully the officials will give him another one... no... wait... yes, he's got one. That was close.
13:45... Almost there... and Daryl's looking good, apart from the shaking, grimacing, limping and bleeding. At least all that mud should do wonders for his skin. Only the barbed wire crawl, a bunch of concrete pipes to clamber over and a couple more hills and he's home.
13:55... As he crosses the finish line, the crowd (named Heather) goes wild. What an achievement, only topped by about 1700 other people on the day, including two girls right at the finish line. But he doesn't look too happy, he's so out of it he doesn't realise that the officials just wrote his number down wrong, so he won't be featuring in the provisional placings. And it looks like he won 't be getting a warm shower either, what with 200 people all tussling for about 5 dribbling faucets. Oh well, I suspect he 'll be just fine after a hot chocolate, tea, coffee, two cheeseburgers, a complete change of clothes, some of Heather 's clothes, and the knowledge that he may be an idiot, but at least he 's an idiot with a stupid medal.
And the prize for coming unofficially 1724th in the Tough Guy Challenge 2005, a no expenses paid trip to Italy with Heather, Pak and May.
And here is what we learned on our trip to Italy.
The Vatican has a lot of money.
Michaelangelo was really a very good artist.
Italian drivers will generally stop at a pedestrian crossing if you
walk in front of them.
The Ancient Romans really liked to take baths.
Rome has a lot of fountains.
The Tiber River smells.
Steak Fiorentina is thick and bloody, and quite tasty.
Florence is very pretty, and chockers with art.
Pickpockets unfortunately tend to be young women with babies.
Public toilets are not always that conveniently located.
Markets are mostly full of useless crap, just like every other country.
Pak and May can sure buy shoes, 5 pairs to be exact.
There is a tower in the city of Pisa which has a funny lean on it.
It's strange that it's not more well known.
David is 100% anatomically correct. And how!
The sun never stops shining in Italy, except at night, when it's bloody cold.
Check out the happy snaps at
http://uk.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/darylholland/my_photos
January has the Tough Guy challenge and Pak almost vomiting.
February has Italy.
bye for now,
Daryl (with spelling mistakes corrected by Heather)
